Waiting for a miracle...

Waiting for a miracle...

rscottlundgren

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Links:

Scoott John Jenn Cseh

]

I'm Addicted To...

[Aug. 5th, 2005|02:47 pm]

...internet quizzes! Here is how much of a geek I am!

The Simple Geek
You answered 73% of the questions as a geek truly would.

You don't seem to sway in either direction, however you still seem to have some latent geek attributes within you. Maybe you're interested in computers but not a gamer? Maybe you've got geek hobbies but none of the awkward social tendencies. You may be slightly geekier than you thought and in denial!

The simple geek usually has various quirks that friends may make fun of, but in general can be considered a fairly normal person. Your geek attributes make you less likely to conform to society. The popular kids don't hate you but the geeks don't either, so it's a respectable demographic.

In a nutshell, you answered enough questions with geek tendencies and enough questions without geek tendencies that it's difficult to pinpoint your exact alignment.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 67% on geekness

Link: The True Geek Test written by ambientred on OkCupid Free Online Dating

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Here's my humor!

[Aug. 4th, 2005|12:15 pm]

Here's My Humor. No surprise here...

the Cutting Edge

(60% dark, 43% spontaneous, 33% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | DARK

Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top.

Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 60% on dark

You scored higher than 20% on spontaneous

You scored higher than 20% on vulgar

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

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An Interesting Note:

[Jul. 28th, 2005|04:20 pm]

I'm a televangelist. Hear me spout shit!

Televangelist
You are 0% Rational, 85% Extroverted, 28% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.

As the Lord as my witness, I swear upon the good book that you are indeed the TELEVANGELIST! Characterized by extreme arrogance, self-assurance, and extroversion, you would make a very charismatic leader (or a very despotic one). On top of that, you are also more intuitive than rational, predisposing you to a more spiritual or emotional outlook on life. Thus, you are thoroughly irrational. You also tend to be rather gentle and considerate of others' feelings. Clearly, you would make the perfect televangelist. Emotional, extroverted, arrogant, and gentle, you annoy the hell out of people who have to listen to the feel-good, intuitive shit spewing from your mouth. Not only that, but people may look down on you as a self-centered asshat. So while you are gentle and genuinely care about others, it is quite clear that you still care about yourself MORE. Why is your personality flawed? Because you are too damned extroverted, emotional, and arrogant. So preach your irrational message, brotha-man! I assure you, no one will be listening!

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Spiteful Loner.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hippie, the Starving Artist, and the Robot.

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 0% on Rationality

You scored higher than 75% on Extroversion

You scored higher than 22% on Brutality

You scored higher than 60% on Arrogance

</table

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on Ok Cupid

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Honesty is always the best policy...	[Jul. 28th, 2005\|03:33 pm]
So I just had a very busy spell at work. I made corrections to a form letter, faxed out two different files, corrected a couple of grammatical and spelling mistakes in a couple of documents, made photocopies, answered phone calls, and rectified the mistake of a co-worker (silly Kim and silly Me doing splash) :oP I'm sitting here enjoying a nice, supposedly quiet day at work. Andrew is sitting here talking to Judiann, being completely obnoxious and stupid. Did I tell you he almost got fired? It's really such a pity. He's a waste of space and air. And yes I did just say that. That's really all I have to update. Nothing really spectacular or stupendous. I'm doing my normal overthinking of every detail, nook, cranny, piece of insanity. You all know me. Note: Honesty is always the best policy. I'm learning that more so as of late. So I can honestly say, that what I write here will be honest. I am not going to doctor anything to suit anyone's feelings; I refuse to sugar coat the dilemas I experience. For it is only by living through real life, and not the imagined life, that the lessons that really matter are learned. How poetic. Judiann just broke down a bit so I'm going to sign off. Talking will ensue later. Cheers! ~Scott
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Henry	[Jul. 27th, 2005\|01:17 pm]
So yes...last night I went to work at the Y for an hour. Very fun. Very entertaining. Henry is about as dumb as a stone. Now I say that with all the love in my heart. The boy is sweet, kinda cute, very endearing, and best of all he's gay. But the problem is this: When he's guarding at the pool he likes to break the rules. For example, people are supposed to have swim caps or they cannot swim. We have a supply of general caps for the populace to use who are not Y members (The Doubletree Hotel uses our pool and we provide their people with caps cause they don't know our rules). So Jeff (my boss) has asked that the guards do not lend out those caps to people who are Y members because they treat them like shit, steal them and yada yada. So I enforce that rule, but Henry blatantly was like "You have to bring a cap next time" to these two kids and then gave them two caps. I wanted to kill him. He also just sits on the guard stool at work and just attempts to be an enforcer of the rules, but will then push kids into the pool and give them a hard time. Mind you, I realize that this is all in good fun, but you need to maintain a professional persona when you are dealing with the clientele. When you are teaching then the rules change and you can be slightly more lax, but you can't do that if you are a guard. There are rules that need to be enforced and you need to keep a professional demeanor or people will not take you seriously. So I'm guarding with this point of view during the hour and I am being heckled by the "joe cool" lifeguard for being "worse than he is" when it comes to enforcing the stated rules. I want to smack the boy senseless. The best part is that he then gets mad at the patrons when they don't listen to him. The reason they don't listen to him: they can't tell whether he is joking or serious so they take EVERYTHING as a joke until he turns blue in the face with frustration. I love my job I really do. :o) Other than that things are great. I'm having a blast at work and really enjoying myself otherwise. Dennis is great, we're getting together tonight, so that should be entertaining. Oh dear me. I'm insane. Off to be more productive. P.S. My brother is dating someone named Andrea. His name is Andrew. Andrea and Andrew. Does that not seem wierd?
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Poesy	[Jul. 25th, 2005\|01:50 am]
How very strange. I cannot write anymore. I miss my muse of poesy.
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Today in brief	[Jul. 23rd, 2005\|06:23 pm]
Good things: 1) A parent asked me after class if I was teaching the next level of students. I said I didn't know and I knew that what she was trying to find out was whether I might be teaching her daughter again. I said that if that was the case then I would be glad to try and follow her daughter throughout the levels of learning to swim. 2) One of the little girls that I teach came up to me after I had left the bathroom, where I had gone after class, while I was talking to my co-worker Janet. She looked up at me, I said "Oh Hello Kira is there something I can do for you?" "I just wanted to thank you for the class today." "Why thank you kira, I'll see you next week?" "Yes, bye scott!" I couldn't stop smiling for a good hour or so. 3) My boss came up to me after I had taught my classes and asked if I would be able to stay on for the school year and teach on saturdays. I told him yes and he got really excited and he told me that I do an awesome job with my kids and that he's glad that he hired me. 4) I was guarding during the final class and I was watching this other instructor teach. Now in my classes I normally have the kids play Red Light, Green Light, except that for green light they have to kick, for yellow light they have to blow bubbles, and I add in other colors for the kids so they correspond with different swimming knowledge (talk to the fish, listen to the fish, dunking their heads under water, spinning around to learn balance in the water, etc.) Well, I was watching the other teachers and they stole my game idea and used it in their class. It was really funny. Bad things: 1) I was walking down the street to get my lunch and this homeless black guy starts accosting me "Don't look at me you fucking shit, you fucking loser, you stupid fudgepacker. You and your fucking crack ass can't give me a couple bucks you stupid little shit. Fucking faggot..." and he follows me up to the store. It was really kinda crappy, but whatever... I'm sure there will be more to come. I am going to go chill out and have dinner with the boy, so it should be fun. I'll talk to you guys later.
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My Miracle

[Jul. 18th, 2005|05:25 pm]

[

mood

ecstatic

]

My little miracle is amazing. He sleeps with me and nothing happens minus the deep calm breathing of REM sleep. My miracle smiles and all the world just looks 50 times more beautiful. I sit and think about my miracle and a slow cool calm envelops me, leaving me breathless with life and affection. My miracle shatters all barriers forcing the sun to obey his every whim, the moon to sing amongst the stars. My miracle is an amazing miracle. His kisses are candy for my heart, soul, and body. His beauty knows no limit. His voice has the power of a sea storm and the gentility of a 19th century lord. I feel so at peace knowing that he will forever apprciate me, forever adore my smile, and that my faces and expressions will eternally brighten his day and that no judgement of the other will ever be made.

My miracle inspires sonnets by his presence, and where he steps, flowers bloom and grow for eternity.

My miracle is known to me by many names.

My miracle's name, as the common populace knows him, is Dennis Reardon.

-----

If you want an explanation, I'll have that post up in a day or so.

Cheers!
~Scott

The heart has its reasons in which reason knows nothing.

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Intensity of a Death Ray

[Jul. 13th, 2005|06:59 pm]

[

mood

confused

]

"You're intense like a death ray." ~Danielle

Is it bad if one of your best friends says to you that you are too intense? Are there better or worse things? I know that she loves me, and this is not the first time that I have been called "intense." In fact, I was called "intense" by my friend Becca.

Hold on...I'll be right back.

Ok, I'm back. Danielle is sitting right near me and I'm kinda wierd. I should be used to this. I'm different. I know this. I'm destined for great things. That's what I tell myself. Is it bad if I feel like I did in high school where I'm ready to cut the chord from everyone I know. EVERYONE. That is a bad feeling I need to work with.

That and the wrestling with "should I try and tone it down for others, or should I let it go and say 'Fuck 'em all!'?"

Right now I say fuck 'em all. But I kinda feel like I should let go. Who the fuck knows. Alright I'm off like a prom dress. I'll talk to you all later!

Cheers!
~Scott

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Empty	[Jul. 11th, 2005\|08:03 pm]
I'm lying here on my bed listening to my music, right now the song is "Defying Gravity" from Wicked the Musical. I'm sitting here and I want to get up and go over to Jenn's and chill out with her. Spend time with her. Spend time with my friends. Which I really want to do. So why don't I do it? Because I'm afraid I'll pester them and cause them pain. But you know what. Fuck that. I'm going over there anyway. So thank you this has once again been fun, talking to a computer that won't talk back. :o) Cheers! ~Scott
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My Favoritist Person In The World sarcasm drips onto the floor and stains the carpet	[Jul. 11th, 2005\|02:04 pm]
So I don't know if I've introduced you guys to one of the characters in my life but his name is Ricky and he works in my office. Now mind you I really have this wonderful talent to be able to put up with most people. I'd say that 95% of the people that I know of (be they acquaintance, best friends, first meetings, whatever) I'm able to get along with. 4% I can tolerate and 1% I want to throttle. Ricky is one that I want to throttle with every fiber of my being. Like I just want to take my hands around his thick hispanic throat and dig in. Here are a couple of reasons why I don't like Ricky. Yeleny, one of the sweetest people I've ever met, comes up to work at the front desk with me and she has a bagle in one hand and a Jamba Juice (an organic fruit shake with lots of vitamins and minerals in it that is very filled with calories but are so good) in the other. Ricky sees that in her hands and he makes this comment, VER BATUM: "I'd ask you if you want a bagle, but you already have a jamba juice, and that's enough calories as it is." Never mind the fact that he COMPLETELY MISSED the fact that she had a bagel in her hand already, but the fact that he could insinuate something so vile is horrible and unbearable. Yeleny has a little bit of a weight problem, but she is so comfortable with herself that she really doesn't care. But the fact that he could insinuate something about her weight is ridiculous. Basically he is always making these boneheaded comments that need to be stopped. I'll talk later. Cheers! ~Scott
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Jeff the Genius, part II

[Jul. 9th, 2005|10:55 pm]

[

mood

flirty

]

So the cute guy who helped me with my iPod? Yeah, I'm going to call the place tomorrow when it is open and ask for him, ask him out and see what happens. It should be fun. Oh and my away message of right now is:
---
I'm crazy...here is why...

I almost gave my number to the really cute guy who helped me fix my iPod.

Here's what's worse

I'm tempted to find the number of the store, call him and leave him my number so I can tell him to call me if he wants to go out on a date.

I'm one sick and twisted fuck.

But I'm FRIKKEN ADORABLE!!! ~Scott
---
Yup, I'm nuts :o)

Cheers!
~Scott

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At the Mac

[Jul. 9th, 2005|07:57 pm]

[

mood

flirty

]

So I'm presently chilling out at the Mac store in the CambridgeSide Galleria. Not really doing much really. But I'm having a lot of fun playing on this iBook. Although I'm not entirely sure about everything in regards to buying one. I really do want to buy one actually, I just don't have the money, quite frankly. I mean I am going to save up obviously, and they have a payment plan. Which is actually pretty cool. And they are offering a sweet deal for college students. Buy a Mac, get an iPod mini. The entire idea is quite brilliant really. More money that I really shouldn't be spending, even if I really do want a Mac.

Note: This entire saving up money so I can travel to California and go to school and work is cool and all but at the same time I kinda am non-plussed with the entire ordeal. Not that I don't want to go to CA but I do want other material possessions. Maybe I should be waiting until I finish all of my stuff and find a job out in Cali and then buy a new computer. Who knows.

It's kinda fun though, just chilling out here in the apple store.

Note: The guy who is helping me out, is really fucking cute. Oh my god, and a musician. And an absolute sweet pea. So nice. We heard a phone ring and he was like, well to each his own, and I was like yeah I guess. He made a comment that his ring was chameleon and I started singing karma chameleon by boy george and he was like no, more like the jazz piece chameleon. I made a comment then about my ringtone being Fraggle Rock and he laughed and smiled. He has a very pretty smile. Oh dear...I'm totally insane. What else is new. Now all I need to do is find a way to givehiim my number because I am that ridiculous. We'll figure it out.

If you couldn't guess, I'm ridiculously flirty. I kinda wanna play around some more on this computer and see exactly how much it would be to sell my Dell and get the money so I could buy this computer. hm. We'll see.

Alright, enough tooling around. I'll write more later.

Cheers!
~Scott

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One miracle of many...

[Jul. 8th, 2005|12:23 am]

[

mood

Euphoric

]

So Cristina just called and got me out of the Matt funk that I just experienced. Matt and Danielle walked and chilled with me. And Judiann was just her usual crazy self. I'll post my convo with her here. I love my life sometimes cause all these awesome people that I know rock. :o) *beams*

SpeakWithShadows: so
SpeakWithShadows: Orpheo is on
SpeakWithShadows: should I make a comment about his venture into our world this morning
SpeakWithShadows: yay or nay?
JB0MBS99: lol, but u weren't there
JB0MBS99: haha
SpeakWithShadows: exactly
JB0MBS99: ...u can pretend tho
SpeakWithShadows: thus I should make a comment
SpeakWithShadows: I could be like
SpeakWithShadows: "So, you came up to the office today, huh? Sorry I missed the visit"
SpeakWithShadows: too much
SpeakWithShadows: hm
JB0MBS99: well yea, no huh. But
SpeakWithShadows: what to say
JB0MBS99: ...you could like say its nice we only have to do 250 those stupid things now
JB0MBS99: thanks for the info or something
SpeakWithShadows: hehe
JB0MBS99: wiattt
JB0MBS99: no he was up for supplies
JB0MBS99: ...don't say the info thing
JB0MBS99: lol
SpeakWithShadows: even more subversive
SpeakWithShadows: maybe he came up to see me? hm "yes I need um supplies, yeah...I'm not here to see the cute boy who imed me no, I'm just...um...here for supplies."
JB0MBS99: lol that is definately a no go, but u can think it if u want to
JB0MBS99:
SpeakWithShadows: I will
SpeakWithShadows: only for a short while
JB0MBS99: what kind of name is orpheo?
SpeakWithShadows: greek
JB0MBS99: o
SpeakWithShadows: yup
SpeakWithShadows: orpheo = orpheus
JB0MBS99: ooo
SpeakWithShadows: yup
JB0MBS99: wut did he say?
SpeakWithShadows: who?
SpeakWithShadows: Orpheo?
JB0MBS99: yuip
SpeakWithShadows: I haven't sent him anythign
JB0MBS99: ohh
JB0MBS99: brb mano...tell me when it happens lol
SpeakWithShadows: if it does darling
SpeakWithShadows: if it does
JB0MBS99: lol I am back!
SpeakWithShadows: ok cool
SpeakWithShadows: still haven't said anythign really
SpeakWithShadows: where are you back from?
JB0MBS99: 711
JB0MBS99: lol
SpeakWithShadows: ah
SpeakWithShadows: I see
JB0MBS99: I took a four hour nap, where's the party at lol
SpeakWithShadows: you are such a goof
SpeakWithShadows: ya know you can come over and have a beer or two if you want
JB0MBS99: OHHH THE GAY BOYS ARE BACK!
JB0MBS99: next door
SpeakWithShadows: back from where?
SpeakWithShadows: they left?
SpeakWithShadows: did they go poof?
SpeakWithShadows: I'm sorry
SpeakWithShadows: bad joke
JB0MBS99: just a little haha
JB0MBS99: ...they have their skit tonite
SpeakWithShadows: oh fun
SpeakWithShadows: yay for CSC skits
JB0MBS99: theya re all going to embassy tonite
JB0MBS99: I'm not that crazyt o go there
SpeakWithShadows: yeah I thought about going
SpeakWithShadows: but I'm kinda thinking no
JB0MBS99: u were up all nite
SpeakWithShadows: although I do want to go still kind of
SpeakWithShadows: yeah I know
JB0MBS99: that would not be a good mix for tomorrow
SpeakWithShadows: haha
SpeakWithShadows: very true
SpeakWithShadows: but whoever said I was good
JB0MBS99: did u nap?
SpeakWithShadows: a little bit
SpeakWithShadows: like 2.5 hours
JB0MBS99: Id on't know ehre my new skills have come from
SpeakWithShadows: what skills?
SpeakWithShadows: That was not nearly as mean as it sounded
SpeakWithShadows: just letting you know
SpeakWithShadows: that was actual curiosity
JB0MBS99: lol I was never able to do naps
SpeakWithShadows: ah
SpeakWithShadows: I see
JB0MBS99: pete hasn't imed me yet
JB0MBS99: that's a plus
SpeakWithShadows: pete?
SpeakWithShadows: which one is that?
JB0MBS99: my friends odd brother
SpeakWithShadows: I just got IMed by Matt, the guy with 6 year relationship, and that went only ok
SpeakWithShadows: closer to evil and bad
JB0MBS99: the kid from myles?
SpeakWithShadows: which is why I want to go out
SpeakWithShadows: yes
SpeakWithShadows: that is the kid from myles
JB0MBS99: gotcha, and what did he say to u?
SpeakWithShadows: nothing really
SpeakWithShadows: he told me about his trip of moving to RI
SpeakWithShadows: told me that we couldn't hang out next week and catch a movie, cause he was closing
JB0MBS99: where does he work?
SpeakWithShadows: at some garage
SpeakWithShadows: he wanted me to comment on how I thought he looked cause I made a comment about working out at the gym
SpeakWithShadows: and he commented about not being beautiful and lacking a beach body
SpeakWithShadows: so I didn't want to deal with that so I told him I would make no comment
SpeakWithShadows: it is just one big mess
JB0MBS99: yeaaa
SpeakWithShadows: I want to say to him
SpeakWithShadows: I'm tired of having the same conversation
SpeakWithShadows: all the time with myself
SpeakWithShadows: about him not chilling out
JB0MBS99: just don't talk to him until he does (if life were only that easy)
SpeakWithShadows: I'm kinda tired of his runaround
SpeakWithShadows: yeah
SpeakWithShadows: it's all drama and bullshit
SpeakWithShadows: and I'm tired
SpeakWithShadows: of it all
SpeakWithShadows: which is why I've blocked him
SpeakWithShadows: for the last time
JB0MBS99: very good, atleast for a couple of days
SpeakWithShadows: I'm going to make it last as long as I can
JB0MBS99: I have done that with the boys I have loved to hate
SpeakWithShadows: yeah
SpeakWithShadows: I think that is a lot of what this is
SpeakWithShadows: I'm gonna go out and kill my lungs
SpeakWithShadows: I'll see you tomorrow
SpeakWithShadows: bright and early
SpeakWithShadows: :o)
SpeakWithShadows: night
JB0MBS99: lol u crazy cat

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Orpheus

[Jul. 7th, 2005|08:10 pm]

Only because I feel like I should pretend I'm in High School again, even for a little bit, I'm going to post this because I'm a nut...

100 little things you do or don't know about me

1. Full Name: Richard Scott Lundgren

2. Nicknames: Scotty, Scooter, Scoot, Scottow, Skippy, Skipster, and Gay Scott

3. Birthday: February 22nd, 1984

4. Place of Birth: Lawrence, MA

5. Zodiac Sign: Pisces or Aquarius, depending on the calendar you look at

6. Gender: Well, I'm androgynous, because gender is dependent upon behavior...but if you wanted to know my sex, I'm male :o)

7. Grade: College Senior

8. School you go to: Boston University School of Education

9. Occupation: Student fo' life!

10. Residence: Boston, MA, but soon California! :o)

11. Screen Name: The main one is SpeakWithShadows and the secondary is BadIdeaPenguin :oP

__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Color: I'm a natural brunette but I'm going to be a bottle redhead for a very VERY long while *malicious giggle*

13. Hair Length: Round an inch and a half to two

14. Eye color: Naturally brown, but my eyes look green with the red hair...weird huh?

15. Best Feature: My butt...everyone is always complimenting me on my butt...

16. Height: 5'11"

17. Braces? Not anymore...

18. Glasses? Yup; Contacts, yup; Your mom, yup;...what too soon?

19. Piercings? Nipples, Navel, and Tongue...

20. Tattoos: None yet, but soon...

21. Righty or Lefty: I'm a total righty :o)

___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: We don't talk about my first best friends, cause they suck, but my present ones are Jenn M., Jenn D., Danielle B., and Kristen I.

23. First Award: I got a gold star for being the teachers best lay...wait... :oP

24. First Sport You Joined: Skiing, my dad taught me at the age of 3

25. First pet: Pepper, a German Shepherd

26. First Real Vacation: Wolfeboro, NH to spend time with the grand rents :o)

27. First Concert: That I attended was Rockapella, that I gave was some time when I was in third grade...

28. First Love: Michael Carbone, first and forever

___ Favorites___

29. Movie: God, there are too many great movies to list, but definite favorites of mine are "Erin Brockovich" and "The Boondock Saints."

30. TV Show: I love "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," "Felicity," "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," "Queer as Folk," "Inside The Actors Studio," "CSI," "OZ," "Sex and the City," and "Your Mom"...what? :oD

31. Colors: Sapphire...It is so beautiful, deep, dark, and lovely...Emerald is a close second though...

32. Rapper: Not really a fan of rap, I have to say...

33. Bands: Diffuser, Lifehouse, All American Rejects,...that's just a very short list...if you want the long one I'll send you the link :o)

34. Song Right Now: None, but I'm watching QAF: Season 2 on DVD...

35. Friend: That's a bullshit question, so here is my bullshit answer..."Wherefore the melancholy maiden asks Death, 'Perchance it pleases you to belch?'"

36. Candy: You are my favorite candy *licks lips*

37. Sport to Play: Sex

38. Restaurant: Sunset Cantina or your bed...

39. Favorite brand to wear: I don't care about brands...I just wear what I like, if that's ok with you...you stupid cumsucking consumers! BAHAHAHAHA! *snort*

40. Store: Bookstore

41. School Subject: English and Theatre

42. Animal: Penguin, hence the aforementioned screenname :o)

43. Book: That list is the longest list of all of the lists that ever were listed so if you REALLY want that list, I'll send you the file with a cake and a pair of singing chopsticks

44. Magazine: What's a mag-a-za-nine?

45. Shoes: Yours! *Steals your shoes and runs away*

___Currently___

46. Feeling: Quite weird cause I want to talk to Orpheo who is still online but I also don't want to appear scary...I also want to ask him to go to Fantastic Four with me sometime this weekend, but I don't know how much of a dork he is so I'm kind of not sure...will have to research... *gets busy researching by doing the researching the cute guy dance*

47. Single or Taken? Single and LOVING IT!

48. Have a crush? Oh God, I go through crushes like people go through toilet paper...wait...bad analogy... :oD

49. Eating: Your cock/pussy

50. Drinking: Your cum

51. Typing: This stupid quiz and being dirty doing it *bites lip seductively*

52. Online? Yup, on the main SN

53. Listening To: The sounds of the city of Boston

54. Thinking About: I think faster than most people, there are always thoughts going through my head so I never really know what I am thinking. Simply put, I'm insane, so get over it *beams*

55. Wanting To: Ask out any number of really attractive males, but the one in particular at the moment is Orpheo...yes I'm obsessed...

56. Watching: You...I mean...uh...um...THE TV! YEAH THAT'S IT! THE TV!

57. Wearing: My dork shirt and jeans...cause I rule...

___Future___

58. Want Kids? Yes

59. Want to be Married? More than anything

60. Careers in Mind: High School Teacher, Professor, Famous Literary Critic, Famous Gay Studies Sociologist, and Professional Student. *nods head vigorously*

61. Where do you want to live? Italy, France, England, California, Hawai'i, Japan, Tibet, Phillippines, Caribbean, anywhere my true love is...

62. Car: Something used and hopefully a SUV...

__Which is Better With The Opposite/Same Sex?___

63. Hair color: Don't really care as long as it fits them...

64. Hair length: Anything longer than shoulder length is not cool...

65. Eye color: Something exotic but ordinary is fine...

66. Measurements: Don't really care as long as he kisses well and takes good care of me.

67. Cute or Sexy: Oh come on! Totally both!

68. Lips or Eyes: Eyes, totally all about the eyes

69. Hugs or Kisses: Kisses all the way around, if he doesn't kiss well, he is kicked to the curb...you may think I'm joking but I'm entirely serious...

70. Short or Tall: My height or taller, but I can do short :o)

71. Easygoing or serious: Hopefully a middle ground would be great...

72. Romantic or Spontaneous: Oh God, they're the same thing in my book, I don't know about yours...

73. Fatty or Skinny: Either, as long as the personality works well with mine...

74. Sensitive or Loud: Again, as above, I don't really care as long as he has both...

75. Hook-up or Relationship: I can fuck with the best of them, but I'd love someone to come home to every night...

76. Sweet or Caring: Um, aren't they the same thing?...*shakes head* see above comment regarding Romantic vs. Spontaneous...

77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: I've raced handicapped people, kissed strangers, dance flirtatiously with people I have never met IN PUBLIC, and I'm dirty as all-get-out...what do YOU think?

___Have you ever?___

78. Kissed a Stranger: Yup, and he was amazing...

79. Had Alcohol: Hi, my name is Scott, and I'm an alcoholic...*sips from flask*

80. Smoked: Totally

81. Run Away From Home: Nope, I've wanted to though...

82. Broken a bone: Nope

83. Gotten an X-ray: Yup

85. Broken Someone's Heart: I believe I have

86. Broken Up With Someone: Yes I have

87. Cried When Someone died: Yes I have

88. Cried At School: Yes I have...is it just me or did these questions suddenly get really depressing?

___Do You Believe In___

89. God: Jury is still out on that one, I'll get back to you...

90. Miracles: Yes I do, hence the Journal's name...

91. Love At First sight: Yes I do

92. Ghosts: Completely

93. Aliens: Not sure, the spaceship is still out on that one. When they finish probing my anus I'll get back to you... *to aliens, whining* harder, faster, deeper!

94. Soul Mates: More than I believe in anything else on this planet...

95. Heaven: I believe there is a "heaven" yes, where everyone goes when they die, but I'm not sure about the christian definition...

96. Hell: I'm destined to go there, so I guess I have to believe in it don't I...

97. Angels: Yes, and they surround us...they are called your friends...

98. Kissing on The First Date: If the guy deserves it, totally...

99. Horoscopes: Not sure, I'll let you know what it says...

___Answer Truthfully___

100. Is there someone you want but you know you can't have? I want many people in my life, and every single one will be in my life, either now or later. There is no one I can't have as a friend. Minus a very select few.

Well there you go, I hope you enjoyed that, now I'm off to do something fun...what I do not know...later!

Cheers!

~Scott

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Orpheus

[Jul. 7th, 2005|06:46 pm]

[

mood

I'm 5 Years Old

]

Orpheo IMed me back! Here is his response:

TadpolAngel: hey there

Auto response from SpeakWithShadows: I'm insane...

I'm adorable though :o)

And modest too! ~Scott

TadpolAngel: Have a great night scott, and perhaps we'll run into each other soon...
TadpolAngel signed off at 11:35:51 PM.

Yes. I rule. A lot. :o)

I love cute men, like this one, who is older than me and so cute! Obsessed much?

Ok granted. Wanting to go out with someone just because they are absolutely one of the most attractive people you have ever seen is not the best reason to want to go out and get a drink with someone I admit, but I am more than entitled, I feel, to want to go out with someone attractive. Even if he does work in a separate department. Yes I'm insane.

On a side note, one of my friends revealed something about herself to me the other night and I was so happy that she did, even though what she revealed wasn't exactly happy. It was kind of funny because what she revealed I have experience with, not personally, but one of my other best friends did. The Yesterday Girl actually has a lesser case of unhappiness than my other best friend which is good, but it was funny because my best friend, in the grand scheme of finding out these things, told me later in my relationship with her (and this developed while I knew her) and The Yesterday Girl told me much faster (about 5 months so). It was very upsetting. But I think I'm over it. I think...

I did my recertification for my lifeguarding stuff today. I passed, so I'm set for this weekend, but I kinda don't want to work. I kinda wanna sleep instead. I'm a very bad boy. :o) *smirks*

It'll get me extra money though. Which is such a good thing. Anyway, I should go and do grocery shopping/find a third job/be more productive than lying on my stomach watching Queer As Folk. I'll talk to you all later!

Cheers!
~Scott

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I did a bad thing with a really great boy

[Jul. 6th, 2005|10:29 am]

[

mood

ubiquitous

]

So I slept with my friend Tom. That happened a couple of days ago. It was a lot of fun, what I can remember of it. :o) I was drunk at the time and when I get drunk/high/breathe I get horny so I kind of was spur of the moment boning with him. He was quite good from what I remember, but it kind of ended badly. Mainly, I was having issues getting him to enter fully into me. I later learned this was because of a couple of biological problems that I had not "relieved" myself of. (That is as much as you are getting so deal with it) So that is why he couldn't fully enter and why it wasn't as good for me or him as it could have been. I can't figure out where I stand with this boy. And that kind of annoys me because I don't quite know where he stands in my opinion as well. Very frustrating.

I think he is quite stellar. A very cool cat. He is also one of the very few gay boys that I can actually deal with on a moderately regular basis before I want to toss him out the window. I haven't actually gotten to that point yet with Tom yet, the desire to defenestrate him, but I may in the future. I don't really think he is that attractive, but a lot of why he IS attractive to me is the fact that he actually POSSESSES a personality, which is so much more than many people I know. I'm kind of ambiguous about the entire deal, either way that you want to slice it. But it'll sort itself out in the end, no matter. :oP

I think that is it for right now. I'll talk to you all later!

Cheers!
~Scott

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I'm A Little Retard...

[Jul. 6th, 2005|01:51 am]

[

mood

enamored

]

There is just one thing I need to quickly say. I have this crush on this guy Orpheo who works down in the operations office of the building I am employed full time at (The George Sherman Union). He is really cute, 27 years old and absolutely one of the nicer people that was ever born on the face of the planet. But that could also be my fantasy of him/idea of him talking. He is presently online right now and I really want to IM him but I can't because while I have friended him on the facebook, I have not ever really had conversation in any capacity which would warrant such attention from myself. In fact he might get really creeped out. So I think I'll just let it go before I get too carried away. That would be the smart thing to do...but am I smart? No...

Cheers!
~Scott

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Afraid of Silly Things

[Jul. 5th, 2005|05:27 pm]

[

mood

anxious

]

I think I'm afraid of too many silly things. Well, they may not really be silly but I kind of think they are.

The first thing I'm afraid of is being financially destitute (aka "in debt"). I really don't know why that petrifies me so much. And I always have to save save save my money and make sure there is enough. Maybe that is being financially accountable, I really don't know, but I definitely have very strong fears that tell me that I'm fucked if I don't have a certain amount of money in the bank. For example, I owe $150 to my job for a pay advance (totally cool) but my check from last week hasn't cleared yet because Bank of America sucks my right testicle and causes it pain. So I start getting agida (ah-jeh-duh) that starts in my chest and continues through my body until I start wanting to break down like a little child. It isn't enough that I basically have two jobs now and will be pulling in like 200 a week from one and around 200 every two weeks from the other (bi-weekly pay checks suck by the way) but I also have this insane fear that I'm somehow going to go under as it were. It petrifies the crap out of me. So while I sit in financial limbo my body just starts convulsing internally and freaks me out to no end. Yay for being my mother's child.

Another thing I'm afraid of is cockroaches. Of all the insects to be afraid of I'm sure I could not have chosen a better one, but really I'm scared shitless of them. Flies too sometimes. I just hate being such a goddamn pussy about stuff like that sometimes too. It's really bad.

On a smaller note, other gay men really bother me. They really do. It's just like, they are annoying. But not all of them, just some of them. I really don't know how to explain this properly so I'm not going to try. But it's almost like I'm stopping myself from being loved and loving because I don't love a certain portion of myself you know? I don't really understand it either. The entire thing is really just very fucking kooky.

So yeah, I don't know really what possessed me to get all of that off my chest. I don't know. I think I just have really bad nerve issues. Too controlling probably. I'll get over it eventually, and if not, c'est la vie. Talk later!

Cheers!
~Scott

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I'm Weird

[Jul. 5th, 2005|10:07 am]

[

mood

weird

]

He ran as fast as he could; breathlessly turning corners and leaping over obstacles like fences and small dogs with a heart beat fast enough to rival that of a hummingbird's rate. With a triumphant laugh he collided with his love.

---

There was a story there. Something poetic and ridiculously and callously romantic. Basically everything that I write. Whatever, it's all good. :o) I'm not too worried.

I slept with my friend Tom but more on that later.

Bye peoples!
~Scott

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